Legacy on Birthday Eve...

All this getting older stuff has me thinking about what's left over. Not the cake or hangover, but the lasting quality of one's life. How do you define what is most important at the end? Is what's left really in your control?

Part of this has been going through my mind ever since Grandpa went into the ER this last time. He had fallen and cracked his head pretty good. Had to get 10 staples across an 8 inch gash. I swear that man has liquid steel running through his veins. Tough as nails.

So here he was dementia and all, running through the gambit of emotions. Scared, laughing, sleepy, angry, you name it. All while some "kid" stood next to him trying his best to make him feel at ease in that crazy place.

I've said it before, it makes no difference to me any more whether or not he knows who I am. As long as he feels safe with me. That is the most important thing---what he needs. Not what I want.

A brilliant woman named Candace once said, "You have to take your sail out of their wind." She was as captivating as she was poetic. And it's a great point. It's become a sort of mantra for me when dealing with individuals that have dementia. But it's also become very important when dealing with the general population.

You see, we all want to change things. We see a problem and think about how different it should be. Deep down we're all revolutionaries fighting for a better life, a better world, a better existence.

So how do we do that? Do we get in the face of people and force them to see our way? Or do we lead by example and hope to inspire others to effect their own change? Both sides have merit, depending on the cause. I guess deep down I've always been an inspiration-type, though. To lead by example. To follow my own heart and maybe affect that way.

And that is at the heart of your Legacy. How you'll be remembered has nothing to do with what your resume says. It's got nothing to do with your salary, mortgage payments, job titles, education, or bank account. It's got to do with how you've treated people along your path as you follow your passions until the very end. It's about community and being that kind of person who can see an other's point of view, for all it's merits and faults.

But it's also about being strong enough in who you are as an individual to be an example for those around you. It's not about force. Be like the bamboo, gently bending in the breeze but firmly grounded. The examples are there for you---Mother Teresa, Dr. King, Gandhi---they all understood that, while force gets you noticed and helps immediately, it's inspiration that lasts to move the future.

Maybe I'm just getting older. Maybe it's looking at grandpa and realizing that his Legacy is his smile and lightheartedness. (And his flirtatiousness :) He will be remembered for the good he has inspired in so many by simply being who he is and loving life the way he did. At this stage with grandpa's dementia, he has been distilled down to his purest form of being. He will leave this world with a crowd of hundreds who have been touched by his general respect for people. And that is what it's all about---giving respect without hope of reward. That's how you earn it.

So taking my sail as the wind comes, I hope to be as good a person to each of you as I am to myself. And maybe, in the long run, I can inspire you to do the same.

Stay Orange.

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